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Crime & Investigations

Wanted Fraud Suspect Behind Arror/Kimwarer Dams Scandal Arrested

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Detectives from Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) on Sunday night arrested wanted fraud suspect who had just arrived from the United States.

The arrest happened at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport (JKIA) following orders issued by DCI Headquarters on 22nd July 2019.

The suspect, Jackson Njau Kinyanjui is wanted for a fraud offence regarding the Arror and Kimwarer dams scandal.

” JACKSON Njau KINYANJUI; a WANTED FRAUD SUSPECT was last night arrested upon his arrival from USA, at the JKIA following orders issued by DCI HQRs on 22nd July 2019.The SUSPECT, wanted for the offence of FRAUD regarding the ARROR/KIMWARER DAMS Scandal,” tweeted DCI.

He was stopped by immigration officers before being handed over to DCI detectives.

Upon interrogation he alleged that he had been cleared to travel on securing his passport from Milimani Law Courts after previous arrest.

He will remain in police custody as further investigations ensue.

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Crime & Investigations

Bhang Worth Ksh 700,000 Recovered in Jubilee Lawmaker’s Shop

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Police in Kirinyaga County on Sunday recovered bhang worth Ksh 700,000 after raiding Jubilee lawmaker’s shop.

According to a local daily, Kabare Ward MCA Chomba Nyaga who won the seat in 2017 on a Jubilee ticket had his shop raided with police recovering bhang rolling papers commonly referred to as rizla in two cartons estimated to be worth Sh700,000.

The region’s OCPD Anthony Mbogo confirmed the incident adding that investigations had been launched into the matter.

“The illegal rolling papers are known as rizla and Kabare ward MCA Chomba Nyaga has recorded statement at Kutus patrol base,” the OCPD was quoted by the local daily.

The police authorities are currently pursuing one suspect after the MCA confessed that the consignment was left in his shop by a customer.

The officers believe there is a link between the two that would aid in the investigations.

“A customer left the cartons to my worker but after staying long I informed the police officers,” said Nyaga.

Nyaga won his MCA seat in 2017 under the Jubilee ticket.


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Politics

Police Should Question Ruto And Duale, Governor Mutua Insists

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Machakos County Governor Dr Alfred Mutua has insisted that Deputy President Dr William Ruto should be questioned by police.

On December 16, Mutua filed a report at Kilimani Police Station claiming that DP Ruto threatened him on November 25, when Mutua, Ruto, among other State officials, had gone to State House-Nairobi to witness President Uhuru Kenyatta receiving the BBI report.

Speaking on Sunday evening during K24’s punchline show, Mutua said he read hostility in Ruto’s gaze, firm handshake and statement that Ruto “will deal with him”.

The DCI would later say that Mutua never provided witnesses to corroborate his allegations.

But the governor believes police are taking his claims “seriously” and he “hopes they question the Deputy President”.

He also insisted that Garissa township Member of Parliament Aden Duale should be investigated on his claims that he can deal with over 50,000 Kambas in Garissa.

Mutua also want Duale out of office since he said Kambas should not be in his constituency, arguing that if it was in the US he should have stepped aside.

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Crime & Investigations

Police Constable Arrested For Stealing a Solar Panel

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Detectives from Directorate of Criminal Investigations (DCI) on Saturday arrested an Administration Police constable for stealing a solar panel belonging to a resident of Oloosirikona.

Constable Francis Wafula who is attached to Lafey in Mandera County was arrested in Isinya, Kajiado County.

The detectives were acting on an alarm raised by the victim that an unknown man had stormed into his compound and made away with the property .

They rushed to his residence whereupon they arrested the Suspect and recovered the said Solar Panel from him.

The suspect will remain in Police custody awaiting arraignment for the offense of stealing.

“@APSKenya Constable Francis WAFULA attached to Lafey, Mandera County, was yesterday arrested in Isinya, Kajiado County for stealing a Solar Panel belonging to a resident of Oloosirikona. Acting on an alarm raised by the victim that an unknown man had stormed into his compound and made away with the property, @DCI_Kenya Detectives rushed to his residence whereupon they arrested the Suspect and recovered the said Solar Panel from him. He remains in Police custody awaiting arraignment for the offense of stealing,” tweeted DCI.

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Politics

Inside Mudavadi’s Plan to Form an Alliance With Uhuru Before 2022

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Amani National Congress (ANC) party leader Musalia Mudavadi has plans of forming an alliance with President Uhuru Kenyatta before 2022, Lugari MP Ayub Savula has revealed.

Savula who was addressing media in Kakameg on Saturday said Mudavadi is ready to work with the Head of State as he plans to rise to power in 2022.

He said the party has plans to convene a meeting where the matter will be discussed in detail.

Savula claimed Uhuru and Mudavadi have met on several occasions, adding that something is brewing up between the duo, as the debate on the next president of Kenya gains momentum.

“We are going to convene a party NEC meeting soon to review the relationship between the two,” he said. 

“When President Kenyatta asked his Mt. Kenya backyard to stop following other politicians seeking to succeed him and wait for a surprise candidate he was referring to Mudavadi,” he said.

Savula said that the two leaders have been holding frequent meetings and more will follow in the near future.

The lawmaker said that the former Vice-president cannot deputize Deputy President William Ruto in 2022.

He said that the law already bars the DP from serving in the same position for more than ten years and can therefore not deputize Mudavadi.

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Politics

Mbadi Tears Into Ruto Over BBI

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Suba South Member of Parliament and the National Assembly Minority leader John Mbadi has torn into Deputy President Dr William Ruto over Building Bridges Initiative (BBI).

Mbadi while speaking to a local daily over the weekend said that the second in command is overrating himself thinking that he is very important.

Mbadi who accused Ruto of being against the BBI noted that DP Ruto is leading no political party, citing that he is the deputy of a party leader just like ODM’s deputy party leaders Hassan Joho (Mombasa Governor) and Wycliffe Oparanya (Kakamega Governor).

According to Mbadi, Ruto should not expect to be invited where party leaders are consulting.

“He should prepare to be in meetings where we attend as officials of political parties, but meetings where the two leaders (Uhuru Kenyatta and Raila Odinga) are meeting or leaders of political parties are meeting, he has no mandate, to be present,” noted Mbadi.

The ODM party chairman also faulted the DP for dismissing BBI report even before it came out.

“When the content came out completely different from what he was saying, it becomes clear he was fighting the unknown,” he said.

He says Ruto’s weakness in politics is that he is always in fighting mode and which is not very good for someone who wants a position that Ruto wants.

“If you want to lead a country, you need to be sober, exercise caution, and speak only when you are sure,” Mbadi remarked.

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Politics

Uhuru Honors Raila Allies With Presidential Awards, Ignores Tangatanga

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

President Uhuru Kenyatta on Friday honored former Prime Minister Raila Odinga’s close allies with presidential awards while ignoring those allied to Deputy President Dr Willima Ruto’s Tanga Tanga faction of Jubilee Party.

In a gazette notice dated 20th December, 2019, the president awarded ODM’s director of elections and Suna East MP Junet Mohamed with first class Chief of the Order of the Burning Spear (CBS), the country’s fourth highest honour.

Others who made it in the list were Homa Bay Woman Rep Gladys Wanga, Mbita MP Millie Odhiambo, Kitui South MP Rachel Nyamai of Jubilee, Kilifi Senatir Stewart Madzayo and Kieni MP Kanini Kega.

The head of state also awarded all the 14 members of the Building Bridges Initiative (BBI) task-force with the second class Elder of the Order of Burning Spear (EBS).

The BBI team was led by Garissa Senator Yusuf Haji and joint co-secretaries Adams Oloo and Martin Kimani.

Other members were Maison Leshoomo, Rose Museo, Archbishop Zacheus Okoth, Bishop Lawi Imathiu, Bishop Peter Njenga, Agnes Muthama, Morompi Ole Ronkei, Saeed Mwaguni, Major (Rtd.) John Seii, Florence Omosa, James Matundura and Paul Mwangi.

All Court of Appeal judges also received the EBS award. Acting Treasury CS Ukur Yatani and his Lands colleague Farida Karoney got the highest award of the day – the Elder of the Golden Heart which is normally awarded to among others the DP, CSs, KDF chief and visiting heads of state.

See the gazette notice below.

Uhuru honours Raila Odinga allies, ignores Tanga Tanga on presidential awards
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Politics

Rashid Echesa Sends Moving Message to Ruto With 2 Wishes

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

As Deputy President Dr William Ruto celebrates his 53rd birthday, former sports Cabinet Secretary Rashid Mohammed Echesa has penned a moving message to him with two wishes.

Taking to his official twitter account on Saturday morning, Echesa prayed that the best of DP Ruto’s life come to pass.

He continued by praying that Ruto’s spirit be enriched by love and hope in the prosperous years ahead so that the DP may continue empowering the lives of others with his positivity, love, benevolence and bounty heart.

Echesa further wished Ruto a future of limitless possibilities and opportunities.

“Happiest Birthday wishes to H. E THE D.P DR @WilliamsRuto My prayer for you on this very special day is that may the best of your life come to pass.

“May your spirit be enriched by love and hope in the prosperous years ahead so that you may continue empowering the lives of others with your positivity, love, benevolence and bounty heart.Wishing you a future of limitless possibilities and opportunities. Mungu akubariki mungwana,” he posted.

Echesa who is a former Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) youth leader jumped ship and joined Ruto’s camp in the run-up to 2017 General Election.

The youthful politician came to public limelight when he was appointed the Sports CS in Uhuru’s cabinet unveiled in March 2018.

He became the subject of discussion in the country after many Kenyans questioned his academic qualification and ability to deliver considering he had not even set foot in High School.

He was later mysteriously fired and replaced by Amina Mohamed who was moved from the Ministry of Education.

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Politics

Murkomen, ODM leaders Clash in Front of Raila

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Elgeyo Marakwet Senator Kipchumba Murkomen on Friday annoyed Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) leaders in Raila Odinga’s backyard.

Speaking at Waondo, Mbita Constituency in Homa Bay during the burial of Senator Moses Kajwang’s mother, Murkomen claimed that President Uhuru Kenyatta and ODM leader Raila Odinga had a hidden agenda in the BBI drive, noting that it was high time they opened up to help end the tension building up over implementation of the report.

“If it is a powerful prime minister that you want, please tell us so that we consider and focus on other critical issues affecting Kenya,” he said as Raila and scores of ODM brigade listened.

But ODM Secretary General Edwin Sifuna, Siaya Senator James Orengo and his Kisii counterpart Sam Ongeri told him off, accusing him and his allies of politicising the BBI report.

“I want Murkomen to be sincere when he is mentioning the names of the two leaders. The document is from the people and its implementation must be decided by the people,” said Mr Sifuna.

Secret agendaMr Orengo said the BBI report contained weighty issues, noting some of which will have to be decided through a referendum, while some could be handled  through policy and legislation.

“The destiny of the document will be decided by the people but some can be refereed to Parliament. We must stop clouding it with cheap politics,” said  Orengo.

Murkomen claimed that extending the term of BBI task force was a clear demonstration that Raila and Uhuru had a secret agenda with the initiative.

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Lifestyle

Going to Shags For Christmas? Here is a Travel Advisory

by Hillary Raini
written by Hillary Raini

IF you are NOT blessed enough to own personal means then u surely must have headed to COUNTRY Bus(waluhya) ama pale AFYA center(wakisii )to book a mbukinya or a transline bus to facilitate your travel to mashinani

Below are some of the habits to avoid in favor of your fellow passengers

FEEDING HABITS

Eat from your house and head to the bus station on a full stomach. If u can’t eat from home wait until you arrive at the designated stopping point. Some of us are very broke to sustain the chicken and chips aroma that you are inflicting on us as we travel.  Avoid foods that can inflict bodily harm to your bus mates.   Sugar cane is not advisable during travel. You may inflict your neighbor with unplanned injuries while trying to exercise the INEOS kipchoge challenge on sugarcane

Avoid foods that can cause neema to arrest you for being biologically hazardous to the environment and Stop pouring food on us .You can’t eat a cocktail of yoghurt eggs and groundnuts then expect a positive response from your stomach.

COMMUNICATION SKILLS

We don’t want to hear how Duale your village dog raped Rex the City chiuwawa .In short we are not interested in your nonsensical phone conversations. If u must speak to us make sure your dental formulae is clean. We are tired of the heavy hazardous smell of last night’s Guinness while trying to make us laugh to your unfunny long stories

SLEEPING HABITS

If your neck can’t handle your big Head kindly try to stabilize your head somewhere else when sleepy.  Kama uko na Tabia ya kuachia wenzako stain ya Mate ukiwa umelala panda punda

CHILDREN

If family planning dint work for you please don’t involve us with your six children if you can’t pay their bus tickets and facilitate their feeding.  The habit of “nishikie huyu” or “amka baba ukule na uncle”   uncle?? Where? Who? How?

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS

If you can’t keep your eyes to yourselves, watch the moving trees outside and Stop poking your nose to our phones. To phone owners keep your private matters private and put on headphones. We are not interested in your coarse voice notes with your TWA TWA partner

Finally travel safe and happy festivities

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Lifestyle

Notable Characteristics of a Kenyan Sponsor

by Hillary Raini
written by Hillary Raini

Sponsoring something (or someone) is the act of supporting an event, activity, person, or organization financially or through the provision of products or services.

The individual or group that provides the support, similar to a benefactor, is known as a  sponsor, However in Kenya sponsorship” is the concept of an older, wealthier man taking care of a pretty younger, attractive girl in exchange for ‘a one minute TWA TWA session not unless the sponsor has been hitting the gym then he can surpass the one minute mark by 30 seconds

Sponsorship typically comes in the form of treats as well as cash allowance. The man gives the girl money. The girl gives the man sex companionship.

In the end, both parties go home happy while most likely equipped with fresh STIs to transmit

Here are the notable characteristics of A Kenyan sponsor

They do it privately

A good number of Kenyan sponsors are well respected men who you wouldn’t suspect are banging their daughters’ age-mates under the radar.

Their actions aren’t always immediately discernible. A sponsor  will expect a relationship that’s discreet and private regardless of why he’s having an affair, he likely has no intention of ending his marriage.

He is just looking for an escape—he wants to fulfill that adventurous fantasy of being with a beautiful younger woman, but still wants to be able to go home to his normal life.

Pot belly

Kenyan sponsors look like they are the ones that get pregnant after sex, They look like they ate all the previous girls they slept with.

I wonder how the young girls manage to survive under all that weight. These girls must be having hidden ‘Samsonic’ powers in those weaves or something because their ability to handle all the heaviness is  something else After all, sponsors can only do the missionary position. Any other position would give them a heart attack. 

Extremely thirsty They prefer the time frame between “hello” and TWA TWA” to be as short as possible, in that they don’t waste too much time chasing a girl. What they do is just dangle the opulence to potential gold-digging targets . Same way a home owner dangles a bone to a dog and it comes running

Sponsors are more thirsty than Savanna buffalos looking for water in a National Geographic wildlife documentary. Despite the excessive sex  they get, their thirst stagnates at alarmingly high levels.

They wallow in desire and revel in female submission.

Super generous.

They  are the everyday Santa Claus, only that their gifts are target-specific. A sponsor understands that the ordinary, beautiful young woman is broke and in desperate need of a good life.

He thus takes advantage of this by feeding young girls cash plus treats and making them addicted to the life. A sponsor understands that no girl can refuse to kiss his unevenly shaped lips after buying her dinner at Kempinski and gifting her an I-phone 10 plus.

It’s all part of the trade and part of the world as we know it at the moment.

Controlling.

A sponsor will most likely want to be in control of when and where the relationship plays out. He doesn’t tolerate instances of a girl calling and asking “Uko wapi? Nikam?” Sponsors mean what they say. These men are interested in control.

They don’t want a forceful woman. They have enough of that already. They want a girl who’ll be a pretty flower. For each favor they dish out, they expect a woman to bend over backwards to appease them.

Sponsors are all over and they are here to say. Unless the girls decide to suddenly embrace morals. To us young guys, they are competition – strong competition.

You just have to be a smart and dominant male to avoid kissing the same female lips that were kissing your grandfather during the weekend

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Entertainment

King Kaka’s Mother is my Girlfriend! Pastor Nganga Claims (Watch Video)

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Controversial pastor James Ng’ng’a has claimed that rapper Kinga Kaka’s mother is his girlfriend.

This is after the rapper mentioned the Neno televangelist in his latest hit song Wajinga Nyinyi, claiming that the pastor cheats his congregants openly.

While responding to the song, Ng’ang’a called King Kaka a fool before urging him to hangout with Matatu touts rather than seeking to trend on social media.

“King Kaka, your mother is my girlfriend,” said the pastor while preaching. “Wherever you are, tell King Kaka your mother is my girlfriend.” 

The rapper has been trending following his new song “Wajinga Nyinyi” in which he attacks politicians for being corrupt.

Neither King Kaka nor his mum has reacted to the shocking statement yet that has left many wondering why the pastor said such a thing.

Watch the video below:

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Latest NewsLifestyle

Top 7 Bedsitter Hacks

by Hillary Raini
written by Hillary Raini

Apart from being able to watch your favourite series while taking a bath a bedsitter enables you to see all your life’s worth in a blink of an eye ..I mean what can be more satisfying than doing all your house chores from one position

The problem comes in when kplc decides to award you with darkness and you can’t remember where you put your knife so u have to tiptoe carefully as if u had landmines in your house. This is to avoid any unplanned injuries leave alone the bruises your only sufuria  gave you while milk was at the brim of misbehaving (you know how milk can misbehave while boiling)

Lets get to basics what is a bedsitter( to our rich friends who dont relate with the struggle)  this is a one-roomed unit of accommodation typically consisting of combined bedroom and sitting room with cooking facilities, basically u have everything in one room .. a slight mistake and you could be sending your supper to the toilet ..”unaeza tegwa na cable ya charger uangukie githeri imwagike kwa choo”  In bedsitters, you don’t pay rent. You give the landlord a token

Most campus students or new employed Kenyans will go for a bedsitter because it is affordable and it allows them to purchase household staffs at their own pace. In Kenya, the more spacious a bedsitter is, the more expensive it will be.. the average bedsitter of a common mwananchi goes for about 4 to 8k ..

Even with a small budget you can make your little palace favourable and comfortable .

1. EGGS

A crate of eggs should never miss in your little palace .eggs can come in handy in a bedsitter especially when you keep asking yourself “Leo ntakula nini” go to mama mboga get yourself sukuma wiki for ten Bob combine with two eggs and you are good to go…or when your prayer partner sleeps over and you want to make her the breakfast of champions. Confuse her with 3 slices of bread and 2 eggs  and see her smiling the entire day .

2 SUGAR

With sugar your life is sorted. Remember back then in highschool how sugar used to make you a king/queen.. now in a bedsitter vitu kwa ground si tofauti.  Sugar comes in handy especially in preparing your beverage, whether its cold power or a hot one depending on the status of  your stove or gas. You can prepare tea as you plan on what to eat and before your stomach realizes u are already asleep.

For the KDF lovers try  adding groundnuts in between your KDF and if ur lucky enough to afford an avocado ongeza kwa mix then take it home with tea.. thank me later

3. SALT

Add salt to taste is a popular phrase used in almost all recipes.. however minor it may seem salt is a great hack ..when life has played ” iyope” with u .. u can comfortably boil your meal and add salt without including cooking oil. When your prayer partner comes along and you don’t have cooking oil tell her you are preparing a cholesterol free meal and boil her meat don’t forget to add salt. When worse comes to worse ask those who have tried ugali and salt

4 WOOFER OR A BLUETOOTH DEVISE

Stock your bedsitter with a nice low budget woofer or put a Bluetooth speaker in a drum and you have your self a Sony 3d music system . Woofers help in minimising interior sound This in turn welcomes phrases as ” Niaje bro si unisaide keja yako mama anakam” . If u can afford a television set the better and if ur creative enough your tv can double up as a mirror .

Other notable hacks

5 Never grow a plant in your bedsitter – you might die at night as you compete for oxygen

6 When your prayer partner comes along for TWA TWA sessions make sure you leave your shoes outside and put hers inside so as to avoid comments from the nosy neighbours who can’t keep note of the thief who stole your khaki trousers but can keep note of who comes along to your house

7 A special shoutout to social media, which has made us all equal. You can put down a Top World Economist with a single tweet from your bedsitter in Wangige.

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Latest News

Kenya High Makes a Comeback, Tops in 2019 KCSE Results

by Nathan Sialah
written by Nathan Sialah

Kenya High school has topped the 2019 KCSE Results in terms of straight As.

In the just released results by Education Cabinet Secretary George Magoha, the Nairobi based girls school topped with the number of straight As by getting 76 straight As. 

Kenya High school also had students in the top 10 students including the second placed Njuguna Winney who managed to get performance index of 87.

627 students scooped straight A while 5796 students managed A-. 125, 746 students in the exams managed to score the minimum university grade of C+ and above.

While releasing the results, The Education CS George Magoha attributed the improved performance by students compared to last year. 

other schools that were in the top 10 list include;
1 Kenya High – 76 As – Top school

2 Kapsabet Boys Hight school – 49As

3 Alliance Boys – 48 As

4 Moi High school Kabarak – 30 As

5 Alliance Girls High school – 27As

6 Mary Hill Girls – 25 As

7 Maseno School – 23 As

8 Nairobi School – 23

9 Mang’u Boys High School  – 23 As

10 Moi Girls Eldoret – 21 As 

The schools were ranked according to the number of students that scored an A plain.

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Latest News

Buluma Tony From Kapsabet Boys Emerges Top KCSE Candidate with 87.159 Points

by Mustafa Juma
written by Mustafa Juma

Buluma Tony from Kapsabet Boys High School has emerged Top KCSE student with 87.159 points.

Top 10 students.

1.Wabukho Tony – 87.159 – top student.

2.Baraza Njeri – 87

3.Aboke David – 87

4. Anthony Ochieng – 87

5. Mathuri Wawira – 86

6. Kizito Ezra – 86

7. Lomali Chemengach – 86

8. Ndathi Njoki – 86

9. Chelangat Irene – 86

10. Chelangat Ruto – 86

This year’s KCSE results have come three days earlier than was the case last year.

According to Education Cabinet Secretary George Magoha, the results this year have improved compared to previous years.

A total of 699,745 candidates sat this year’s Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE) examinations.

51% Male sat for examination as compared to 49% Female.

627 scored A plains, 5000+ A-minus and 125,746 above C+.

Candidates attaining A plain rose to 627 up from 315 last year. Grade A- (minus) shot to 5,796 from 3,418 last year. Overall, minimum University entry grade C+ and above shot to 125,746 as compared to 90,377 last year.

16 subjects significantly improved with 11 recording decline.

The marking of the examination was concluded on Thursday and Knec officials immediately embarked on analysing the results.

This year’s examination was conducted between November 4 and 27 and marking started on November 28 in 20 schools in Nairobi and its environs.

Last year, the results were released on December 21.

A total of 26,597 teachers marked this year’s KCSE examination in 20 stations in Nairobi and its environs.

The examination was done in 10,287 centres across the country with a total of 21 cases of examination malpractices being reported and 90 mobile phones being confiscated from candidates during the examination.

The 2019 KCSE examination was being administered for the 31st time since its inception in 1989.

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Lifestyle

7 Common Characteristics of a Nairobi Slay queen

by Hillary Raini
written by Hillary Raini

Slay can mean “to kill a person or animal,” “to make someone laugh,” “to have sex with someone,” or “to do something spectacularly well,” especially when it comes to fashion, artistic performance, or self-confidence.

 In today’s era where social media is the order of the day a slay queen  has been quoted as  basically a diva, mostly from urban locations, that has reason to believe she is every man’s eye candy and the envy of every other woman.

She believes that women of her kind are superior and should thus be treated as such. However,others define slayqueens as Young and naive girls who apparently do not date broke men.

They spend hours on Snapchat and Instagram showing off things they don’t even own. Others may say Girls who do not have a wealthy background but appear as if they do.

They use malicious acts to attain cash, drink expensive alcohol, procure expensive cellphones. But back at home she’s a chicken chaser.

Here are the most common characteristics of a Kenyan (nairobian)Slayqueen

1. Blue ticks

Slay queens can ignore your texts untill you think twice about your phone.is it my phone that is a problem or iPhones don’t receive texts from cheap Android phones . It’s like your text is a Safaricom message or that “nitumie hizo pesa kwa hii number” message from a Kamiti inmate. You just keep seeing the slay queen of your dreams online most of the time, but she doesn’t respond, because she has “options.” – lots of options.However if u want a live action of The just concluded stone throwing party at kibera by-elections , Fail to respond to her texts . Slay queens have extreme double standards in life. A slay queen can’t stand waiting for a guy for 10 minutes for example. On the other end, she doesn’t see a big deal in being two hours late while the sun is playing bazokizo with you pale archives

2. Taking pictures with their legs curved and lots of filters

Look at the pictures of most slay queens and you might think they are suffering from Rickets – the condition that causes bowed legs in some children. Slay queens are obsessed with pictures and when she makes you her photographer, you’ll have to keep repeating the shots untill she is satisfied..she will pick one picture out of the possible kanyari (310) that u have taken. Note the saying vitu kwa ground ni different ..she will appear on a date looking different than what she has been sending in your dm.

3. Life of the party

A slay queen believes that being an obnoxious. shisha-loving party girl is all part of the good life. Despite the fact that she’s puked in all the washrooms of all Kenyan clubs, a slay queen will pretend to be too cool for local music. Ask her if she’s heard Timmy Tdat’s latest song and she’ll be like “Ati Timmy Tdat? Who’s that? I don’t do local music and when a gengeton track drops she twerks her soul out while shouting to the lyrics as though she was in a football pitch supporting Gor mahia

4. Accent

Slay queens tweng harder than PLO Lumumba. All their speeches are littered with phrases such as “Wharreva”, “So cute”, “Do I look fat?”,”I’m done with..” and “Oh my gosh” depending on the mood. Despite the slay queen’s penchant for accents, she has very poor grammar.  A slay queen doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re, I’m and Am, as well as many other English connotations. She never will. And she will be offended if you point that out.

5.Outrageous preferences for men

Slay queens have crazy standards when it comes to the kind of men they want, even when they don’t deserve such men at all. They believe that only the best of the best will suffice for their romantic life. My guy if u dont stay in kile lavi or Westlands hauna Chako more so if u don’t drive.  Money is number one for a slay queen, with looks a close second. A slay queen doesn’t care if her boyfriend is smart or a decent human being , so long as he looks cool and has some cash. And as long as he’s buying her Guarana at Kiza. And as long as she can talk to her girls about her boyfriend who buys her Guarana at Kiza, she’s happy

6. Oversharing on social media

A slay queen likes to over share with everyone on social media. She is out there trying to make others feel inferior and peer pressured by fake material things .. she will post “the weekend has begun.”, work hard enjoy life,” “depressed,” slaying “That amazing feeling when you get home and take off your bra,”men are thrash “My puppy died…..so sad ? RIP Toto….you were so adorable.”

7. Dumbness

A slay queen will know what is the name of Kim Kardashian’s cousin’s sister or what was the color of cardi B’s dress on a post she posted three months ago but she has no idea where Syria is, or what’s BBI.

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